Some couples want their vows to be completely serious, and that's fine. Plenty of others want a little laughter in there, because that's what their relationship is like. Done well, a couple of jokes make the vows feel more personal, and they give everyone, including you, a moment to breathe before the serious promises.
The trick is to keep the humor warm and to finish sincerely. If you haven't started yet, the step-by-step guide to writing vows covers the basic shape, and the wedding vow examples include a funny set alongside more serious ones.
Agree on the tone first
Before you write any jokes, check that your partner is comfortable with them. If one of you makes everyone laugh and the other reads three minutes of heartfelt promises, the second person can feel exposed. You don't have to share the words, but you should agree on roughly how light the vows will be. Your officiant may have a view too, especially at a religious ceremony.
How to be funny and sincere at the same time
The best funny vows are still vows. Every joke should point back to something you love about your partner, or to a promise you mean. "I promise to let you have the last slice of pizza" is funny because it's small, but it also says you'll put them first in everyday ways.
A simple structure helps. Open with a memory, which can be funny. Say what you love about your partner, with maybe one light line. Put your funny promises in the middle. Then drop the jokes completely for your last two or three promises and your closing line. Guests will hear the change in your voice, and the serious part will mean more because of the laughter before it.
Jokes that work in vows
The safest humor in vows comes from your everyday life together. Guests who know you will recognize it, and guests who don't will still get it.
- Shared habits. The way you argue about the thermostat, or how you always get lost on the way to the same friend's house.
- Promises about small things. Taking out the trash without being asked, or not spoiling a show you're watching together. These are funny because they sit next to promises about the rest of your lives.
- Things you're bad at. Jokes at your own expense are always safer than jokes at your partner's.
- Pets, hobbies and teams. A rivalry over football, a dog who sleeps on your side of the bed, or a hobby your partner loves and you tolerate.
What to avoid
Some jokes land badly at the altar, however well they would go down with friends. Leave out anything about exes or past relationships, and anything about weight, looks or drinking. Don't joke about money trouble, in-laws or anything your partner is sensitive about. Skip jokes that suggest you're reluctant to get married, like pretending to run away or checking your watch. And avoid inside jokes that need a backstory, because half the guests will be lost.
If you're not sure about a line, imagine your partner's grandmother hearing it. If you think she'd wince, take it out.
Example funny promises
These lines are written for made-up couples, to show the kind of humor that works. Each one is small and specific, and none of them makes fun of the partner in a hurtful way. Use them as ideas and change the details to fit your own life.
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I promise to always tell you when there's spinach in your teeth, even in the middle of a Zoom call.
From a bride in Atlanta whose partner works from home -
I promise to stop setting the thermostat to sixty-five when you're not looking. I'll compromise at sixty-eight.
From a groom in Phoenix -
I promise not to watch the next episode without you, and if I do, I'll act surprised when we watch it together.
From a bride in Nashville -
I promise to love you even during Packers season, when you are a completely different person on Sundays.
From a groom in Green Bay -
I promise to keep eating your chili, including the batch you made with the ghost peppers.
From a groom in San Antonio -
I promise to accept that Waffles sleeps in the middle of the bed and I sleep wherever there's room.
From a bride in Asheville, about the couple's beagle -
I promise to always let you order for us at the Thai place, because I've been getting it wrong for six years.
From a bride in Seattle, to her wife -
I promise to never again say "I know a shortcut" on a road trip.
From a groom in Boise -
I promise to put the cap back on the toothpaste, at least most of the time.
From a groom in Philadelphia, to his husband
Notice that each promise also says something true. The Packers line says "I love you as you are". The shortcut line admits a fault, which is a kind thing to do in front of everyone.
A full example of funny vows
Kenji is a software developer in San Diego, and he is marrying Rachel, who teaches middle school science. They met at a trivia night at a brewery, on rival teams. His vows take about two minutes.
Rachel, we met at trivia night at a brewery in North Park. Your team beat mine by one point, on a question about the periodic table. You came over afterward to shake my hand, which I thought was very gracious, until you told me the answer and the whole table groaned. I asked for your number anyway, mostly so I could have you on my team.
Four years later, you're still the smartest person in any room. You also still eat cereal for dinner at least twice a week, and I've stopped pretending I don't do it too.
I love that you get excited about volcanoes. I love that your students call you Dr. Rachel even though you keep telling them you don't have a doctorate.
So here are my promises.
I promise to never correct your parallel parking, even when it takes four tries. I promise to learn the names of all eleven of your houseplants, and to stop calling the big one Steve. I promise that when we disagree about where to eat, I'll remember that you're usually right.
And here are the ones I mean most.
I promise to be honest with you, even when it's hard. I promise to take care of you when you're sick or sad, and to let you take care of me when I need it.
I promise to be on your team, Rachel, for every question, for the rest of my life. I love you.
The funny part is all in the first half, and it's all gentle. Kenji teases Rachel about parking and houseplants, and he makes fun of himself about the cereal. Then he signals the change with "And here are the ones I mean most", and the last promise brings back the trivia night so the ending feels connected to the opening.
Want help getting the balance right?
Speechmade writes a first draft of your vows with AI from your answers, and you can ask for a light tone with a few jokes. Read the opening before you decide, then edit it so the humor sounds like you.
Common questions
Is it OK to have funny wedding vows?
Yes, as long as you both agree on the tone beforehand. A few jokes can make the vows feel more like the two of you. Keep the humor kind, and make sure your last promises are sincere.
How many jokes should I put in my vows?
Two or three light moments are usually enough in a set of vows that lasts a minute or two. Any more and it starts to feel like a stand-up routine, and your partner may wonder when the serious part is coming.
What if my partner writes serious vows and mine are funny?
It can feel uneven, which is why it's worth agreeing on the tone together first. If your partner wants to keep things serious, you can still include one light promise, as long as most of your vows match theirs.
Can I make jokes about my partner in my vows?
Gentle teasing about harmless habits is fine, such as how they load the dishwasher or how long they take to pick a restaurant. Avoid anything that would embarrass them, and anything about exes, weight, money or family arguments.