When you are grieving, the blank page can be the hardest part. This template gives you the bones of a eulogy that runs about three to five minutes once it's filled in. Work through it one section at a time, and don't worry if some sections end up longer than others.
Treat the linking sentences as a starting point and change them so they sound like something you would say. If you want to know why the structure works, how to write a eulogy explains each step, and there are four finished eulogy examples to read as well.
Before you fill it in
Check how long you have to speak and whether anyone else is giving a eulogy at the service. If a sibling is covering the life story, you can shorten section 2 to a sentence or two. Jot down some notes first: dates and places, their work, the people they loved, and any stories, sayings and habits you remember. It is much easier to fill a blank when you already have the material in front of you.
The eulogy template
1. Welcome and introduction
"Good morning. My name is [your name], and [their name] was my [relationship, such as mom, grandpa, best friend]. On behalf of [the family members you are speaking for], thank you all for being here to remember [him or her]."
2. Their life in brief
"[Name] was born in [town or city] in [year], [a detail about their family, such as the oldest of six kids]. [He or she] grew up [a detail about their childhood], and after high school [first job, college or military service]."
"[He or she] worked as [job] for [how long], and was proud of [something about their work]. In [year] [he or she] met [partner's name] [where or how they met], and they [married, had children, moved somewhere]."
3. What they were like
"If you knew [name], you knew [a habit, place or thing everyone connected with them]. [A short example or story that shows it]."
"[He or she] was also [a second quality]. [A small, specific moment that shows this quality]."
4. A story
"What I remember most is [the setting of your story]. [What happened, told simply, with one or two details such as what they said or what they were wearing]. [A sentence on why this memory matters to you]."
5. The people they loved
"[Name] loved [partner, children, grandchildren, friends] more than anything. [A sentence about what they were like with family or friends]."
"I want to thank [hospice team, caregivers, church family, neighbors] for [what they did]. And [name of partner or close family member], [a few words to them]."
6. Goodbye
"[Name, Mom, Dad, Grandma or whatever you called them], [a short line to them, perhaps picking up a detail from earlier]. Thank you for [something they gave you]. We love you, and we'll miss you."
Filling the blanks
The best answers are small and specific. "He loved his family" is true for most people. "He drove four hours every Friday to watch his granddaughter's volleyball games" belongs only to him.
The template, filled in
Here is the same template completed by a woman speaking about her older brother at his funeral in Pueblo, Colorado. Notice how she has changed some of the linking words so they sound natural, and left out a line where it didn't fit.
Good morning. My name is Teresa, and Frank Romero was my big brother. On behalf of his wife, Gloria, and their kids, Danny and Michelle, thank you all for being here to remember him.
Frank was born here in Pueblo in 1951, the oldest of six kids, which meant he was in charge of the rest of us from about the age of eight. He grew up on the East Side, and after high school he went to work at the steel mill, like our dad and our grandpa before him.
He worked there for thirty-four years, and he was proud that he never once missed a shift because of the snow. In 1974 he met Gloria at a friend's wedding, and they were married the next summer. They raised Danny and Michelle in the same house on the East Side, and they lived there for almost fifty years.
If you knew Frank, you knew his green chile. Every August he roasted a whole bushel in the backyard and froze it in little bags, and by Christmas every one of us had been given at least three. He was also patient. He taught all six of his nieces and nephews to drive, in the same old Ford pickup, and he never raised his voice once, even when I backed it into the mailbox.
What I remember most is the winter our mom was sick. I was nineteen and scared, and every night after his shift Frank drove across town to sit with me at the kitchen table. He didn't say much. He just made coffee and stayed until I was ready to sleep. I've never forgotten that.
Frank loved Gloria and those kids more than anything, and he loved being Grandpa to Jake and Ava even more. I want to thank the nurses who looked after him these last months. And Gloria, you were his whole world, and you're part of ours.
Frank, I'll make the chile this August. It won't be as good as yours. Thank you for looking out for me my whole life. We love you, and we'll miss you.
Making the template your own
Once every blank is filled, read it out loud. Wherever a line sounds stiff, rewrite it the way you would say it to a friend. Cut anything that feels like filler, and add a detail anywhere the eulogy could be about anyone. Then time it. At about 130 words a minute, the completed example above runs close to three minutes.
If there are sections you can't fill, leave them out. A eulogy with one good story and a warm goodbye is enough. For more on where the eulogy fits in a US funeral or celebration of life, see the main eulogy guide, and for shorter words at a less formal service, see funeral speeches.
Common questions
Is it all right to use a eulogy template?
Yes. A template gives you a structure so you can put your energy into the memories. The words in the blanks are what make it personal, so spend most of your time on those, and change any of the linking sentences so they sound like you.
Do I have to follow the template in this order?
No. Some people open with a story and go back to the life history afterward, or finish with a prayer or a poem. This order is the most common because it is easy to follow when you hear it once, but any clear order works.
How many stories should I include?
For a three-minute eulogy, one or two short stories is about right. For five minutes, two or three. Give each story room for its details, even if that means telling fewer of them.
Can I use this template for a friend or a coworker?
Yes. Swap the family sections for how you met and what you did together, and thank their family in the closing part. The same shape works for almost anyone.